Brenda: My World, My Pain, My Joy.

It May Be Something Serious, Something Bad, Or 'Foul'.

2006-02-20T13:48:00.000Z

I don't know what came over 'me' Today when I had a Mighty Tumble.

I had had my morning coffee, had done some sit ups and chins, and I had had my coco-pops. I went into the toilets when something 'CLOUDED' my judgement. My brain felt as light as a pebble skipping across a wintry pool, and I felt as if I was flying in a ring above a nest. I was soaring, high, not unlike a grand hawk, when I 'Fell down', landing directly under the sink in a small pond of water. I hit the right side of my head upon the floor, and I yelped!

It turns out that SOMEONE (CAROL!!!!) had left the taps running again. WHY I DO NOT KNOW. All I have left to show for it now is this great thumping green mark above my eyebrow, and a swollen lip.

But something happened right then, right as I was falling toward the floor under the "sink". I don't know what it is, but It was something profound, not unlike a profundity. For a moment, I felt like "I" was someone else, as if "I" was really "They" or "She" or "He" or even someone other than these three. Was someone trying to tell me something? An "Important Message"? Was I being made aware of a great something. A "Great Matter"?

Time will tell. It may be a million things. But I'm pretty sure it was something...

Don't Step On Me.

2006-02-19T10:52:00.000Z

Love isn't easy when you're a prisoner
People won't believe you if you're a prisoner
Life can be so hard when you're a prisoner
So Lonesome and so Fragile when you're a prisoner
But Don't get that foot and Raise it Up
Don't tilt your heel in my direction
Don't you Dare stamp your boots above my head
Don't Step on Me until I've bled.
I've Bled.
I've Bled.
I've Bled.
Hag Ven Taal Sun Gooben Grot
Haji Can Waal Dun Lubben Stein
Dik bin Tik Hak UugenFreud
Schloss Jin Yacht lahst BuggenBrain.
Don't Trample on my Wooden Pipes
Don't hike up and down upon my face
My knees, they Please, they don't just 'Tease'
So why go on and make my bleed?
Don't step on me.
Don't step on Me.
Rig Tilben Me.

Let Her FREE!!!!

2006-02-08T13:02:00.000Z

I, Brenda, swear here to day to never let a nother soul harm anyone close to me.
I, Brenda, will never be taken advantage of again.
Not by YOU, HER, OR ANYONE IN THIS WHOLE STINKING CESSPIT.
I, Brenda, will never again take all of that muckiness.

You, 'blub', you know who you are.

BEAR MY CHEST

2006-02-08T12:38:00.000Z

owWWWWWW I've been to the seaside,
I've walked along the Thames
I've listened to the wind blow
I've shown you my 'Best'
But nothing does it better
Nothing more 'Sublime'
than when I undo a little button
and show you what's mine
I will do a little growl,
And lick my randy paws
I will shuffle down my 'duffle'
and break our Human Laws
I said that nothing does it better
and I said I'd show you my 'Best'
So I'll do a little better
And BEAR YOU MY CHEST
BEAR YOU ME CHEST
BEAR
BEAR
BEAR
BEAR
BEAR YOU MY CHEST
BEAR
NOT BARE
BUT BEAR
BEAR
BEAR
BEAR YOU MY CHEST
Ruffle down me 'duffle'
AND BEAR YOU MY CHEST
Shuffle down me stuffle
AND BEAR YOU MY CHEST
Guffle up your muffle
AND BEAR YOU MY CHEST
Puffle up your Twattle
AND BEAR YOU MY CHEST
and then when it's Quiet
you'll hear in your ear
something scary behind you
something on the pier
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!

A Note From Pat

2006-01-28T14:26:00.000Z

This morning, while Reading upon the up-down Bunk, someone hushed me a note folded up into tiny little mincey squares.

It was Pat.

Sometimes It seems this whole Place is run by these secret Notes. And what did Pat say?

She's In much Pain. And she needs a hug.

This place isn't for people like us, emotional and sensitive beings who thrive on divine love and propriety. We belong outside, on the hilltops, in the plazas eating gelato. I'll be out soon, but Pat? Will she ever get out? Not with those carrots winding her up getting to her and ushering her into a rage. She half got a temper on her. And I "KNOW" as soon as Pat gets out she gonna go down on a rampage and wield her lollies about she aint gonna take no grime from no wolly.

Please, God, be with Pat.

NAKED PRISONER

2006-01-28T05:53:00.000Z

I am Naked and I am Prisoner.
I am wet and I am Cold.
Who do go there, my sweet fairhead Child.
Oh sweet Chile' of mine.
Who do go there, amongst the shrubs, Come forth and make Yourself Known.
Don't be shy, Don't Blush your Eye,
No need to fear the Naked Prisoner,
Who art thou behind the Beam?
Peeking gingerly with eyes so wide,
Do you fear the Naked Prisoner?
Come hither Come hither, upon my breast a Quivver.
Come here my child.
Sweet Chile' of mine.

Like Gnome Lovers

2006-01-27T11:33:00.000Z

In here no one can" see" us
We're "Invisible"
Like the Invisible Ones that Live Below
That live on Our lawns
And we Like it that way because they let us be
We're Gnome People
Little Little People
Gnome People
Tiny Tiny People
We "eat" crumbs from the Floor
We "drink Milk" from the River
That is really a Puddle
But a River to us
Because We are Gnome People
Little Little People
Gnome People
Tiny Tiny People
And we Love Eachother
Love Eachother
We make Love to eachother
This is Gnome Love, Gnome Love.
We may be nobody to them
We are locked in a Cage
We may be small to them
But our world is in our minds
And To Our Gnome Love they are Blind
They don't SEE what they don't KNOW
because we're Gnome People
Little Little People
Gnome Lovers
Little Little Lovers
Love me for who I am
The Little Gnome inside
Love my little hands
Tiny Little Gnome Hands
Pull my sleeve
and We'll run
Into the underworld
Into the Gnome World
Gnome People
Little Little People
Gnome People
Tiny Tiny People.

I'm sick of ALL OF THEM

2006-01-25T12:46:00.000Z

I'm so lonely. So terribly, terribly lonely. Especially now that PAT HAS GONE.

We were at lunch yesterday afternoon when the trouble started in the caff. Marie got a wift that I had written about her here on the site. She waddled over with those two whales she keeps as company and started a wibble with us over her bloody quilt and having dared talk about online, in full view of the world to judge. Bloody cow. She got her carrots on me and Pat could have none of that and she lunged at the table, sauce went everywhere. Pat really showed her what for but she got sent to G-unit and now I'm on me bloody lone at the 'room'.

SET ME ON FIRE
AND LET ME BURN
THE WORLDS HAD ITS DAY
AND IM GOING BEFORE ITS MY TURN
SET ME ON FIRE
AND BURN MY HAIR
I'LL BE HAIRLESS
AND I'LL HIDE IN MY LAIR.

Winter's Mutton

2006-01-22T15:42:00.000Z

Chills have come and drawn us in
Once again this faithful time of Year
Icey streets and Icey Hearts
And I am Winter's Mutton grazing on the Grass
Swing By Here and Swing By There
Wonder never ceases to make us Stare
For life is gone but will it end
This Winter's Mutton who's heart won't mend
She is the Force
She is the Light
But Winter's Mutton has flown the kite
For in the sky where stars do tell
A plane heads south to the streets of hell
And on a tram in Bujumbura
my Love, My sweet does sit with Noora
An African princess and no old sheep
unlike this Mutton she did once keep
My face is worn and my hands are sore
this Winter's Mutton can graze no more
It will sit within a hay filled barn
a sweater for my love i will do darn
But what is its use in african streets?
and in african beds with african meats?
Oh give me the field
and let me roam
This Winter's Mutton is here alone.

BRENDA'S BOOKS ZONE REVIEW: BEING JORDAN

2006-01-21T09:29:00.000Z

"Heat cannot be separated from fire, or beauty from The Eternal."

These True True words, said and quoted by Dante, cannot be further from false when concerning this wonderful young lass, Jordane. Everyone knows of her legendary looks, the lovely eyes, the cheeky smile, the boundless bosom, and the mischevious attitude de la femme fatale. Her 'Beauty' has given her the rights to live on forever in the leagues of heros and statemen in the halls of 'Eternity'. Danta was right.

But there is more to Jordan than just the "Jordan" we see. That's because inside there is a little one, Katie Price, who is wanting, needing, desiring and also rebelling to "get out" and "show 'em what's for". She's sensitive, too. She has a really rough time when she was young, and her descriptions of her life on the estates really makes us cry. She might not speak proper, she says, but at least she she "knows proper". Maybe this is what makes her a standout from the rest. Maybe that is what/why we she is a superstar and we're not? Could life just be a test like we all say?

Flicking through the book like "Wild Fire", one was mesmerized. She's had it tough, she played the field, she's had a ball, and she's had some fun. She got thrown back down, and she just jumped right back up. How we should learn to do it, too. And her new book, out next month, will reinforce this. Her new life with Peter Andre must be great, and we want to know, "Need" to know, how it is actually backstage for them, away from the starlights and the shouting of fans and paparazis. And we know that Jordan goes home after all of this, takes her socks off, sits down and watch Corrie with a foot rub. Thats Not "jorand" there, its Katie Price. And this review is a celebration of that.

This is not just a book, it's a lifeform. It actually lives in your hands and hypnotizes you, and I having even started on Paul McKenna's new 'Instant Confidence' yet!!! One doesn't "keep this book Locked Up", one shares it with friends and roomates, as I have done. And Everyone agrees. "Katie Pirce" actually talks to you like she knows you and doesn't and the read is never the same for two people together. I got something totally different out of it than what Pat did. I'm starting to wonder whether people are all really the same, or are we all different? People always say that we are all the same "Deep Down". But could this be not so? Could we all really strive for individuality?

I think so. And that is why Being Jordan doesn't only DEMAND. It COMPELS.

B.

BRENDA'S BOOK ZONE SPECIAL

2006-01-17T14:58:00.000Z

Dr Phil McGraw,
'Love Smart' (Find the One You Want; Fix the One You Gots)
Ever had that feeling that somebody is watching you?
Ever had that thought: 'Who EXACTLY is me?'
Ever woken up alone, when you thought you weren't?
Ever needed a friend?

Well Dr.Phil McGraw in his brand new "Book", which should really be a "Guide", with ISBN number of 9780743272094, really lets rip and tackles all of these probing questions. He seems to know the essence of the female woman and know the heart of us all. In short: he is brilliant not only as TV's friendly Mister Fix-Your-Heart but also as your nightly partner on your bedstand at night.

We all have a bit of something to give into ourselves. Phil knows this, and he realises how we must give it to others too. Not only that, but he's extremely and utterly and senselessly funny-to-the-bone-laugh-and-rock-on-your-bed-funny. He gives us tips like how to find the perfect husband, one that will care and not be too restrictive and he tells us where to find them with a directory like index.

McGraw also knows the secret of all marriages, the last and final "Terrible Tabboo", that of which we shalln't Speak, come on folks you all know it!: Boredom with Spouse. How does he know our secret, that we are all actually so bored with our loved ones? That we all wish we were someone else? Because he's been there. He has kids, and a loving and caring wife. He loves his family. HOWEVER. He's read the map. He's got it clenched in his hands. He's been down the path and round it 10 times. And he knows that. He gives you ways to improve.

In all, "Love Smart" is a success for any reader, or 'Player' as Phil calls us that participate in his "Book/Guide" because it succeeds in letter us know that we're not all fat ugly and stupid, but really some of us are clever and 'Ripe for the Bagging'.

This is authoring like no other.

B.

You Not, You Not, You Not.

2006-01-16T13:24:00.001Z

You come In here Thinking You're Hot stuff, Thinking that You're Smart, Thinking that You "have the power", but You Not, You Not, You Not.
You think you cool, 'cause you give the Rules, that you make us play, play by those rules, but You Not, You Not, You Not.
Lock Me Up, In this place all night, My Heart is dank, So gone from Sight, a "terrible twister", a "hearty blister", You have the keys, But you no Mister. You Not, You Not, You Not.
Your uniform is your own prison, your own Private Cell, Because tho I don't have Outside, I have the power to "tell", to "tell" that you're a Loner, a marcher against the sun, You think you an "El Gran Daddy", but You Not, You Not, You Not.
Let me from my cell, I'll march you down these Halls, Let me through these Locked locking gates, and I'll show what is for. Because You Not, You Not, You Not.
No longer Spit on My Face, No longer force me to Jog, No Longer pretend Your the SandMan, for you're merely a 'blub'.
And everyone knows...
You Not, You Not, You NOT.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along? GROW UP MARIE!

2006-01-14T16:00:00.000Z

I can't believe this is the 3rd day that marie won't speak to either me nor pat. this is not about the bloody quilt anymore, this is personal. and i just don't know how to react to these kinds of things. i wish she would just hear me out. or better yet, i wish she would just GROW BLOODY UP!
all of this just makes me sigh and say out loud:

"WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?"

The Time Has Come

2006-01-14T15:27:00.000Z

The Time has Come
and will it go
as soon as it did come?
If it does
I will be ready
I will be prepared
Coz I do Fight
I do survive
This torrid day
this black black night.
I am the fire
I am the Stone
I will conquer
I will groan.
The Time has Come,
I do declare
Lets go forth
Lets go there.

Crazy Nails for Pat

2006-01-13T05:53:00.000Z

My mad mad mad room-mate Pat wants to get these nails done! Of course 'I' think they're totally 'Inappropriate' if You understand me!!! Can You imagine it?!!!

COMING SOON: BRENDA'S BOOK ZONE PREMIER BOOK REVIEW

2006-01-12T17:32:00.000Z

I can now reveal that the premier review will be of Love Smart by Dr.Phil McGraw. Not only has he been an inspiration to millions and billions of women around the world, but he can write too!!! I'm just finishing up on my synopsis of it, and then I will write up the review. In the meantime, GO AND GRAB YOURSELF A COPY!!!

BRENDA'S BOOK ZONE

2006-01-12T12:18:00.000Z

Not at ALL related to Oprah's Book Club in ANY WAY! Haha. I've been feeling compelled these few days to do a GREAT NEW BOOK ZONE for reviewing books I've been reading and have liked. I have so many great ideas for this website, like making a MUSIC ZONE (for music) and a Travel Zone (for places I want to travel to too!) As they say at the movies... COMING SOON FOLKS.

CAN IT GET ANY BETTER?

2006-01-12T11:23:00.000Z

Can It Get Better?
Not only am I so madly in love with this new soap, but my skin is too!!!!

Does a dream only live in fantasies?
Is your life always a test?
For me I never really realised
How love could be the best
Because I need this appleI need this fruit
To get me back on my feet
To be the one in paradise
To be the one for me
Now I can Sing it
Now I can fly
Now let me Sing it
Now let me fly.